the mascot (Chinchou) @ Sitrus Berry  
Ability: Volt Absorb  
Level: 5  
EVs: 52 Def / 228 SpA / 220 Spe  
Modest Nature  
IVs: 0 Atk  
- Substitute  
- Hydro Pump  
- Thunderbolt  
- Ice Beam  

trap card joke (Trapinch) @ Sitrus Berry  
Ability: Arena Trap  
Level: 5  
EVs: 156 HP / 156 Def / 156 SpD / 36 Spe  
Impish Nature  
- Earthquake  
- Rock Slide  
- Quick Attack  
- Protect  

no hair & pronouns (Magnemite) @ Sitrus Berry  
Ability: Magnet Pull  
Level: 5  
EVs: 76 HP / 160 SpA / 240 Spe  
Timid Nature  
IVs: 2 Atk / 30 SpA / 30 Spe  
- Substitute  
- Thunderbolt  
- Hidden Power [Fire]  
- Toxic  

give me my act win (Abra) @ Salac Berry  
Ability: Synchronize  
Level: 5  
EVs: 76 Def / 236 SpA / 196 Spe  
Timid Nature  
IVs: 3 Atk  
- Calm Mind  
- Psychic  
- Hidden Power [Dark]  
- Endure  

speed tie = idgaf (Elekid) @ Sitrus Berry  
Ability: Static  
Level: 5  
EVs: 172 Atk / 76 SpA / 236 Spe  
Hasty Nature  
- Thunderbolt  
- Ice Punch  
- Hidden Power [Ghost]  
- Substitute  

kyogre hrt when (Wailmer) @ Sitrus Berry  
Ability: Water Veil  
Level: 5  
EVs: 36 HP / 120 SpA / 236 SpD / 116 Spe  
Calm Nature  
- Water Spout  
- Hidden Power [Grass]  
- Icy Wind  
- Self-Destruct