chadstacean (Kingler) @ Life Orb  
Ability: Sheer Force  
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe  
Adamant Nature  
- Liquidation  
- Rock Slide  
- High Horsepower  
- Agility  

Wacky Wiki (Dodrio) @ Wiki Berry  
Ability: Tangled Feet  
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe  
Jolly Nature  
IVs: 30 HP  
- Substitute  
- Brave Bird  
- Jump Kick  
- Swords Dance  

FUCK MONKEYS (Barbaracle) @ Focus Sash  
Ability: Tough Claws  
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe  
Adamant Nature  
- Shell Smash  
- Liquidation  
- Rock Blast  
- Superpower  

ameriton (Appletun) @ Leftovers  
Ability: Thick Fat  
EVs: 252 HP / 4 SpA / 252 SpD  
Calm Nature  
IVs: 0 Atk  
- Apple Acid  
- Dragon Pulse  
- Leech Seed  
- Recover  

not!Garchomp (Flygon) @ Life Orb  
Ability: Levitate  
EVs: 156 Atk / 100 SpA / 252 Spe  
Hasty Nature  
- Outrage  
- Earthquake  
- Fire Blast  
- U-turn  

*glares at u* (Articuno-Galar) @ Adrenaline Orb  
Ability: Competitive  
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe  
Timid Nature  
IVs: 0 Atk  
- Hurricane  
- Freezing Glare  
- Shadow Ball  
- Calm Mind