INSPECTOR JAVERT (Salamence) @ Choice Band  
Ability: Intimidate  
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe  
Adamant Nature  
- Hidden Power [Flying]  
- Rock Slide  
- Earthquake  
- Brick Break  

BARREL (Snorlax) @ Leftovers  
Ability: Immunity  
EVs: 192 HP / 40 Atk / 148 Def / 128 SpD  
Careful Nature  
- Curse  
- Rest  
- Earthquake  
- Shadow Ball  

BRITNEY BITCH (Milotic) @ Leftovers  
Ability: Marvel Scale  
EVs: 240 HP / 228 Def / 40 Spe  
Bold Nature  
IVs: 0 Atk  
- Surf  
- Toxic  
- Refresh  
- Recover  

FAKE NEWS (Celebi) @ Leftovers  
Ability: Natural Cure  
EVs: 240 HP / 136 Def / 96 SpD / 36 Spe  
Bold Nature  
IVs: 0 Atk  
- Leech Seed  
- Recover  
- Psychic  
- Baton Pass  

ALIMONEY PAYMENT (Dugtrio) @ Choice Band  
Ability: Arena Trap  
EVs: 8 HP / 248 Atk / 252 Spe  
Jolly Nature  
- Earthquake  
- Rock Slide  
- Aerial Ace  
- Hidden Power [Bug]  

GO FUCK URSELF (Magneton) @ Charcoal  
Ability: Magnet Pull  
EVs: 24 HP / 252 SpA / 12 SpD / 220 Spe  
Modest Nature  
IVs: 2 Atk / 30 SpA / 30 Spe  
- Thunderbolt  
- Hidden Power [Fire]  
- Sunny Day  
- Toxic